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For about two minutes there, Xander Cage looked more like one of those vaguely tragic late-period Roger Moore Bond outings than any film I'm likely to ever be giving more than a couple of stars.

But, this just in from our department of pleasant surprises, after that cringe inducing opening stanza – and then another scene set in a London hotel that pretty much redefines the phrase "gratuitous bikini" for a new generation – Xander Cage actually lifts its game and settles in to become the film we bought our popcorn for: A physics defying, thunderously loud, candy-coated and joyously preposterous load of weapons-grade stupidity Seriously, movie where the boys managed to fly a tank out the back of a cargo plane and land it safely in a lake by firing the gun to steer it around the sky?

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At which point, Diesel, his director DJ Caruso ( READ MORE: * Did Vin Diesel get under Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson's skin?

* Vin Diesel 'has secret Guardians of the Galaxy script'If Cage was played by an actor about half Diesel's age, who was capable of pulling off a sex scene without leering and grunting, then the scene might just about have been tolerable.

Be it a sensual or erotic massage, a fetish, couples play, a spa, or any other simply tell and we will find you an escort just suited for your needs.Aaron Russo exposed the agenda to microchip human beings before he died/ or was murdered….Splash Club is New Zealand’s leading premier Gentlemen’s Club. After a drop that even old Adamantium-enhanced Wolverine would have decided was a bit much, Cage then skis – yes, skis – through a chunk of steep Brazilian rain forest, before somehow landing, via a couple of skateboard gags that one of Diesel's stunt doubles really should be very proud of, into the bed of a convenient local hottie. The film opens with Cage (Mrs Diesel's boy Vin) climbing and then jumping off a TV transmission tower with a pair of skis that someone has conveniently left at the top for him.




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